Thursday, September 07, 2006

(Mis)adventure at the VMAs

So whilst in NYC last week, we discovered that we had arrived on the day that MTV was holding the VMAs at Radio City Music Hall, which happened to be a block from our hotel.

After spending some glorious time at the Barney's warehouse sale in Chelsea (a shopping Mecca that is fodder for its own thread entirely) and downing a couple $1.50 beers (I didn't think they were that cheap in Manhattan, ever) at a nearby happy hour, we headed back to the room to change before meeting a friend for dinner and noticed that the limos were starting to arrive. The spousal unit wanted none of it, and I didn't need to shower, so I decided to go on the prowl while he got ready.

The best part happened before I even got past the first barricade - I saw Nick Lachey drive by in a Town Car. Everyone was screaming and leering - the teenage boy next to me lamented not shouting out "dude, you had sex with Jessica Simpson!" I bet Nick wished he'd gotten the Town Car with the full tint. He was sure a little hottie in his white t-shirt.

Upon encountering the first barricade, I noticed that it was barring the entrance to a Barnes and Noble. I asked the police officer if he would let me past to go to the bookstore, and he obliged. Ha!

After purchasing a tabloid rag (I didn't want to be accused of not really wanting to BUY anything there), I darted out the door in the opposite direction of the barricade towards the street onto which all the limos, Escalades, etc. were turning onto to release their precious celebrity cargo.

I got as far as the end of this block and hit another barricade guarded by a less naive civil servant. However, he was allowing people to linger outside the barricade. Luckily some of my fellow gawkers were significantly younger than me, or else I'd have had no idea who was going past me. I managed to see:

Panic at the Disco (cheeseheads had a huge sign on the front of their white old-style limo)
John Legend
Russell Simmons
Steve-O from Jackass (again, thank you youngsters)
Beyonce. Well, not really. But I did see the side of her black SUV.

At this point I decided I was on the wrong side of the streed to get a decent view, and decided to cross. This led to the demise of my adventure. The cops on the other side were much less tolerant and shooed me along. I then decided to dart into the Kenneth Cole store in the corner, and ogled a bit from inside, but after strange looks from the salespeople and a less than satisfying view I again decided to move on. I continued North on 5th Avenue and walked past another barricade, behind which I could actually see the red carpet. Oh, so close!!! There was actually a gap in this barricade, but when I attempted to step through, one of the tragically hip youngsters standing on the inside of it cried out "Oh no, honey, you can't come in HERE". I think I could have talked my way past this fashionista/bodyguard, but since I was wearing neither haute nor street couture I opted to again keep going.

At the end of that block, I was told I had to turn around and go back the other way. So I did. But halfway BACK down the previous block a female police officer told me I couldn't go that way either. Frustrated and ready to end my VMA misadventure, I not-so-politely informed her that her colleague at the end of the street had informed me otherwise. This caused Ms. NYPD to get all up in my grill. Sigh. Not wanting to see the inside of a Manhattan jail, I decided to obey Ms. NYPD and headed back in my original direction and ultimately back to my room.

But it was fun while it lasted.


James said...

Dude...Where's the pics?

Ian didn't say anything about the VMAs. He did say you missed going to the Intrepid though.

Slave to the dogs said...

All I had on me was the cell phone camera. I tried to grab a shot of Lachey in his car but it wasn't working out so well.