Tuesday, January 30, 2007

A dubious claim to fame

Check it out - we now have our very own version of Mary Kay Latourneau or Debra LaFave right here in Colorado!

What in the heck is wrong with these women? And how come only blonde teachers seem to have relationships with their male students?


Yesterday I went to step aerobics and happened to catch a glimpse of my profile in the mirror as we were doing a particularly boisterous sequence. Holy frijoles! The twins' range of motion now seems to be down to my waist and up to my forehead. I do believe that's the last time I'll wear that particular sports bra for such vigorous exercise. I think I need to get myself a frog bra.

If I tried this, I think they would end up flying backwards over my head and/or getting pinned under the pogo stick. Too bad, cuz it looks hellafun.

Why is it that breasts (natural ones, anyway) can never be just quite right? Chelene and I have complaints about being too large. Tanya is enjoying her pregnancy boobs, but I bet she'd get tired of them if she had to lug them around for years on end. And my lesser endowed friends aren't happy either.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Check out my new digs

This morning, I commited what may be considered a cardinal sin for someone who is married to a gadget geek. I washed the spousal unit's cell phone.

This is not your run-of-the-mill phone, mind you. It's a smart phone. It's the one phone he could find out there with some PDA functionality in a flip style. It's interface is Windows. The spousal unit can easily check his gmail on it. Well, perhaps I should make that a past tense could check his gmail on it.

Here's a pic of the beauty. The spousal unit dubbed it The Batphone and even downloaded the old Batman show theme song for his ringtone.

It's drying in a window as I type. Please pray for my safe return to the human house, my blogosphere buddies. This puppy will cost a mint to replace if I can't manage to revive it.

UPDATE: It lives! The spousal unit put the battery back in and charged up this morning. No harm, no foul. Phew!!!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Random 10 - Crowd Pleasing Version

I think the Random 10 is more fun when I'm using my iPod. I don't know what's coming up. This way I just copy and paste out of iTunes party shuffle. Though I suppose I shouldn't be complaining about convenience.

Paradise City - Guns N' Roses
One - U2
Lovesick Blues - Patsy Cline
Sad But True - Metallica
Like A Song... - U2
Ghostrider - Rollins Band
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails
Last Exit - Pearl Jam
Leave (Get Out) - JoJo
Ghost Story - Sting

Post yours at American Idle, or Henry Rollins will give you his evil death stare while he recites his thoughtful poetry. Wait....that was supposed to be a threat. Ah well, you get the jist.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The definition of optimism

Yesterday I ordered this bad boy for our trip to Aruba. Yep, I'll look just like that. Minus the jewelry. And the perfectly tousled beach hair. And the smokin' hot bod. I'm not worried about the top half - I can always pull that off somehow. It's getting my bottom half ready to wear that in a month and a half that I'll need to focus on. Encouragement, anyone?

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Where do they FIND these people?

So I was watching Deal or No Deal. Sort of. Really it's just background noise while the spousal unit and I conversed over our delicious dinner of falafel and greek salad that he so munificently prepared. It never ceases to boggle my mind that they can consistently find such annoying contestants for this show.

A few weeks or months ago they had Lime Green Girl. Her clothes were lime green. Her fingernails were lime green. They had the bimbos models attired in lime green slut skirts. And Lime Green Girl's goal? To win enough money to buy herself a lime green H2. Riveting. I had to turn the thing off when they actually drove out a lime green H2 (complete with neon pink trim) as one of her offers. Such a monstrosity should only exist in the realm of the imagination.

I didn't think that could be topped.

But tonight, they found Hanson Girl. Yes, Hanson. MmmmmmmBop. Hanson Girl had Hanson Best Friend there for support. And where did she meet Hanson Best Friend? You guessed her, Chester - the Hanson website (which from what little I saw of it, sucks the Ron Jeremy. Maroon 5's site is far superior). Hanson Best Friend cheered her pal on with such statements as "You're already a winner - you've always been a winner!" Puke.

Hanson Girl wanted to win 15k so she could have a private Hanson concert at home for her friends. And I predicted this one - who showed up later on in the episode? Isaac, Taylor, and Zac (had to look that up). I'm sure Hanson girl peed her pants.

For the boys' sake, I hope Hanson Girl follows through with her wish out of the $83,000 she ended up winning. They probably don't have too many other gigs these days.

You should have heard the spousal unit cheering for her to win a penny. It would have warmed the cockles of your heart.

Ooh, I wanna take ya....

I've had enough of winter. Truly. We got 6 more inches of snow on Sunday. I don't think the snow in my yard will go away until April. I've had a great time skiing this year, but the snow belongs in the mountains, not piled up in front of my garage.

So...itching for warmer weather made me start poking into warm tropical getaways. I used to travel nonstop for work, so I've got about a gazillion hotel points and 10 gazillion frequent flyer miles. After some research and discussion with the spousal unit, the decision was made. At the beginning of March, we're off to Aruba.

Here's a pic of a divi divi tree for ya.

Anybody been there? Would love to hear about it.

Also, can somebody please tell me where in the hell Kokomo is? I'm pretty sure the Beach Boys weren't singing about the town in Indiana.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Today's random 10

I've had iTunes on party shuffle all morning, but here's what was in the queue when I remembered that I need to post my Random 10:

Live - Lenny Kravitz
One - U2
Nutcracker Overture - Tchaikovsky
I Don't Want To -Toni Braxton
Don't Wake Me - The Black Crowes
Another Night - Real McCoy
Some Days Are Better Than Others - U2
Rescue Me - Madonna
What You Are - Audioslave
The Happiest Days of Our Lives - Pink Floyd

Some really good stuff mixed in with some kinda lame stuff (Zooropa and all that came of it are truly horrid). Another Night brings back memories of a fun, carefree time in my life.

Post yours here, or Corey will tie you up, drag you to Vegas in his suitcase, and stash you in the auditorium at the Flamingo where you'll be forced to endure Toni Braxton's craptasticness repeatedly.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Oh, I, I, I'm Still Alive.....

Sorry kids. My lame ass really has no excuse. I did for a short time...right before Christmas our home computer putzed out, and my work laptop hadn't arrived yet. Then we went to Indianapolis to see family over the holidays. That was wonderful....nothing like having little kids around to make Christmas feel really special. And I got to bond with some of my family that I hadn't seen for eons. The only thing missing was snow. I should have packed some in my suitcase and taken it with me.

That reminds me...how's this for ludicrous? We checked our one, extremely large bag in, and it was over the 50 pound weight limit by 10 pounds. There was a $50 charge for the extra weight since we had literally no room to stash anything in our carry ons. I asked if they could accept the bag with no charge since we were checking only one bag for two people. The remarkably patient (given the whole blizzard pre-Christmas airport fiasco) United representative explained they could not do that as it was a safety issue for their employees loading baggage. Huh. Funny how they can overlook that safety issue if you hand them an extra fifty bucks, eh? Made me chuckle.

And since we got back home....well, I've just been lame. Ideas I've had for posts have remained in my head, lonely and unappreciated. But now I'm back with a vengeance.

So, if anyone still comes here, I've got a question for ya. I'm thinking of starting a MySpace page. I have a few friends that I could communicate with more if I actually did this. My question is, is it worth it? Will I get stalked by freaks? Is it hard to configure? Inquiring minds want to know.