Local haps

I just have to clue you in on a couple things going down in the Mile High.

Ass Party Moratorium The DNC wants to scale back from 2 dozen convention shindigs to only 1? I don't like this. It greatly decreases my odds of sneaking in.

(begin digression)
Last night I had a dream that I was volunteering at the convention. I happened to pass a doorway just as Obama was walking out, and the guy seemed to be about 8 feet tall. Symbolism, anyone?
(end digression)

The other thing you just have to read about are the thong bandits. I made certain to find a link with pictures for this one.

The radio jocks had a field day with this one. "Man, can I borrow your chick's thong? My girl's ass is too big, it falls off my head!" Seriously though, you really have to wonder about these fellows' thought process when planning this robbery. Whose did they use? Why do they seem to match? If they were new, why not go with a pair of boyshorts instead? They'd certainly cover your face better.

And I'd hate to have been that convenience store clerk. Imagine realizing what they had on their faces and then trying to stifle your reaction.

The best part of the article is the descriptions of the perpetrators. "Last seen wearing...a green thong over his face." OK, I'll be on the lookout for thongface, but I'm not optimistic I'll see him.