If I could bottle this and sell it....

I'd never have to work again.



I suspsect many a meth lab operator has had similar designs.

That rug downstairs never manages to stay straight with this bunch in the house.

Evil temptation

Look at this bitch. Look at her!

Trots though the door and the alpha humans decide to take her in. What about me? I'm the alpha dog. Don't I get a say?

The alphas are constantly taking her off to some function called "obedience class". I don't know what that is, but they go in the car, which means it has to be fun. Ripley's not much for the car, but I try to get in with the humans whenever they go anywhere. Needless to say, my exclusion from this "obedience class" does not please me.

And oh, does Sasha tease. Flaunts that delicious, slender little figure in front of me constantly. Makes me want to bite her and ride her simultaneously. And I try. Damn, do I try. But these parts of mine won't seem to do what I want them to.

Let's not overlook how she tries to take Ripley's spot as top bitch. Sasha may be slim and sexy, but my brick house will always own my doggy heart. No amount of snapping, or food-stealing, or toy-hording will change that, Sasha!

Thanks for listening, humans. I'm off to chase squirrels in my dreams (at least that's what the humans think I'm dreaming about - check out my twitchy foot).