Caribbound

We'd been thinking of booking a trip to Europe for our next vacation, hopefully to be taken right around now. Now it looks like the soonest we'll be able to escape is January.

So Ms. Bargain Hunter Slave started poking into destinations where the climate in January is more pleasant than it is at home. Places like Kauai, Phuket, Rio, and Paradise Island came to mind.

The spousal unit wasn't wowed by Hawaii on our honeymoon, so that was the first to go. Asia and South America were next based on flight times and ticket prices. This meant that, for the second year in a row, we'd be headed to the Caribbean.

I started looking in the Bahamas since it's a relatively short flight and we've heard good things. Was all set to have us on a vacay on Cable Beach. But the spousal unit balked, fearing the weather would not be quite warm enough in January.

Next I eyed the Cayman Islands. Alas, flights within out frequent flyer/voucher system were not to be had.

Finally, my eye was caught by St. Maarten. We enjoyed the Dutch hospitality shown last year in Aruba. And an added bonus is that it shares an island with the French territory St. Martin. The average temperature was to the spousal unit's liking, and airline tickets were in reach. So we'll be there for a week in January.

As I poked through travel guides, I realized how close the celeb getaway of St. Barts is to St. Maarten. Perhaps we'd do a side trip for a couple days and rub elbows with George, Brad, or Matt! Then I started looking at hotels in St. Bart. Suffice to say, our visit to that island will be confined to a day trip by ferry.

Anguilla is another option for a day trip, but St. Barts looks prettier.

St. Maarten/Martin apparently has the best food in the Caribbean. This is a real draw for me, since I'll hopefully be pregnant and unable to imbibe spirits.

Any tales or anecdotes from these islands to share? Let's hear it!

Snort THIS

This morning I was eating breakfast and allowing Today to numb my brain while my morning coffee attempted to awaken it. I'm sure the two cancel each other out.

Off topic, but how sad is it that I notice that a Royal Caribbean cruise commercial plays on this show every morning at the same exact time? I first noticed this nearly 2 years ago, and it's still going.

Anyway, a commercial for a nasal allergy spray called Veramyst comes on. I happen to notice a caption that flashes briefly on the bottom of the screen. It says (I'm paraphrasing):

"It is not known exactly how this medication works."

Please tell me why somebody would see this caviat and still spray this crap up their nose. It's OK for me to not know how it works. But shouldn't the pharmaceutical have figured it out before the FDA approved it to be sold?

And what, did they stumble onto this by accident? Oh hey look, I accidentally snorted a bit of this HIV counteraction serum, and look, my nose isn't running any more! Yeah, I'm running out to buy some of that right now.

I'm So White

Here's a quickie I can share with you that should make you chuckle.

I've had the Timbaland song Just The Way I Are playing in my head nonstop. Despite my dismay at the grammatical incoherence of the title, the words are catchy and the beat is reminiscent of his work with my shameless crush JT.

So I've had these words running through my head:

I don't need the cheese on my crackers
Boy I like you just the way you are

Well, the real line is:

I don't need the G's or the car keys

Hmmm. Would you have guessed that I grew up in a small town where the black population was possibly only 2 digits long? Or that I live in a pretty damn caucasian state now? I think you would.

But...

That doesn't stop me from thinking that the Jena 6 were/are being extremely unfairly punished. The white adults in Jena that allowed this situation to escalate and explode with these ridiculous charges, and most especially DA Reed Walters, have a special hot seat in Hell waiting for them.

Blah-g

Where is my motivation? I have some funny doggy pictures I want to post, but I'm too lazy to add captions to them.

I have more entertaining travel anecdotes swirling around in my head, but can't manage to materialize them to keyboard.

Right now the most mesmerizing thing I have to say is that I just enjoyed a divine frozen custard swirled with peanut butter. How's that for a literary device, huh?

I can't even summon the minimal amount of wit required to mock Britney Spears.

Oh, you freaky readers

I've had a rash of folks hit my blog lately from Google searches. As usual, I have to shake my head when I see what people out there are looking for.

First, we have the fertile-ly challenged, like myself, who are looking to go straight to ivf. But humans aren't the only species that have difficulty reproducing. Luckily, there are fellow doggy lovers out there who are interested in using clomiphene citrate with dogs.

We also have some kinkier canine coddlers, who are just searching for a wife slave with dog. As the spousal unit pointed out, you never know what to expect from the French.

And let's not forget the junkies. Enterprising addicts utilize tools on the Internet to get their meth hints.

Let's hope he left the private jet at home

Look guys...Ali Larter from Heroes looks stunning in this red dress.

But would somebody please tell me what the hell Al Gore is doing at the Emmy awards ceremony? Making sure it's green, no doubt.

No bebe

Turns out it was just Aunt Flo, taunting me. We've got a consult with Dr. Makeababy today to figure out the next steps.

Quickening?

Could it be, folks? I'm not due to find out for sure until next week, but there have been some possible signs.

The twins are sore. Now, this is a normal PMS symptom for me, but it seems a little different this time. Extremely sensitive headlights. Could be entirely psychosomatic, and not enough of a sign on its own.

Today I did a regular yoga class for the first time in awhile. I'm forgoing the Bikram until post-delivery - it's too risky for my taste. While in cobra pose, I began to feel a vein pulsing internally. This vein was in the uteral vicinity. This has never happened to me before. Is there a reason my blood seemed a bit more anxious than normal to flow to that particular region?

Stay tuned!

An unexpected sibling

I'm so embarassed about this.

A few months ago I found a blogger, via justacoolcat and Beckeye, who was holding an Adopt an Actor auction. I requested an actor, but then promptly forgot which blogger was holding this fabulous fete.

I just stumbled back onto Splotchy's blog today, and discovered that to make it official, I have to post my request on my own blog.
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So...without further adieu, I give you our possible-child's adopted older brother, Mister Tom Skerritt.

Do you think he didn't notice?

Yesterday I took my flight home from Boston. And no, I was not concerned about flying on 9/1l. I seriously doubt that another plane-bomb attack will be attempted on that date in the forseeable future. But the flight was very empty, and I was afforded a coveted exit-row seat.

Unfortunately, this seat was near the toilet. An older businessman (normally I'd refer to him as a gentleman, but not in this case) across the aisle from me kept ducking into the toilet. Whenever he emerged, I was immediately assaulted with the most horrific odor. Seriously, I think the guy was committing war crimes in there. At first I thought it was the bathroom itself, but I noticed that the odor was not present when other passengers left the crime scene.

So did he not care about the torture he was submitting his fellow passengers to? Or do you think he felt so crappy all he was interested in was just evacuating the toxic waste from his body? His demeanor was annoyingly pleasant otherwise, so I have my doubts about the latter option. I think maybe it smelled of roses to him, because it was his.

But you'd think the nasty faces and dramatic arm hand waving in front of my nose from me might have clued him that it was not so.

Reprieve

I look like part of the table down here, don't I?

The female alpha has been gone for days. I think the evil white dog has gone and scared her away.

I don't need to hide down here right now. The alpha male has taken the evil white dog off to wherever it is she gets taken. I'm sure it's somewhere they'd never take me. Bitch.

But until the evil white dog gets back back, I'll resume my role as The Queen. It's good to be queen.

Oh, and please don't blame the quality of this photo on me. Unlike the female alpha, I don't have opposable thumbs and am thus incapable of cleaning the camera lens.

An excerpt

From the funniest show on television:

Cheryl: Where've you been?
Larry: Eatin' some penis.

Welcome back, Curb. I've missed you.

Ketchup!

Hello bloggies! How I've missed you all.

I'm in Boston for the weekend for a wedding reception. They got married in June in NM but his mother is having a reception for them here. I've been friends with her since high school - nearly 20 years! It's so odd to think I've known anyone for that long.

Anybody up for meeting in Beantown on Sunday? Shopping on Newbury street?

So, to catch up....

I had to sign up for MySpace for a book club. Oh, how it sucks you in to its evil ways! Check out MyKerpupples if you're interested.

And I owe you some details on our little fertilization experiment.

It didn't go as well as hoped. Not as many little swimmers as they like to see. Stupid nurse kept babbling and yammering all the while failing to get the stupid catheter into my cervix. She had to take the instrument of torture speculum out to start over and asked if I'd prefer another nurse continue. I responded with a very enthusiastic "Yes". Anyway, the doc wants to have another consultation with us. I'm thinking if we're not knocked up this round she's going to want to move us straight to IVF next cycle.

I should have known the day boded ominous when one of these little fellows commited harikari by flying head-on into one of our picture windows the morning before the procedure. I had to threaten Ripley with harm to get her to drop him. Little fellow was gorgeous, but alas, his poor neck had snapped like a twig.