Tuesday, October 16, 2007

You want to put what where?

I think I've mentioned this before, and I know some of you have blogged posts to support my theory.

I think that travelling brings out the rude in people.

Here's the latest installment.

Yesterday, lunchtime, Memphis airport. I took advantage of the time and place to grab a little Memphis-style BBQ for lunch during my layover. Many other travellers had the same idea, so the Blue Note Cafe was hoppin'.

Smoking or non, queried the hostess. I replied with my stock "first available," and was escorted into the bar. I ordered and dove happily into The Other Boleyn Girl (Scarlett Johanssen, Natalie Portman, and Eric Bana to star in the screen adaptation? Can't fucking wait) while I waited for my turkey-smothered-in-heaven sandwich to arrive.

That's the odd thing about smoking bars in airport. They attract smokers. In droves.

I peer around me as I dig into my sandwich. A suprising number of people in the bar are like me, eating but not pursuing lung cancer. The ones who are puffing away seem to be pretty mellow about it.

And then the psycho smoker strikes.

I pick up my sandwich for another mouth-watering bite. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a man heading intently for my table. Is he going to refill my soft drink? But no, as he closes in he thrusts his weapon past the glass. What was the weapon, you may ask? His ash-dangling cigarette. He deposits said ash into the sparkling clean ashtray on my table. As I was taking a bite of my food.

Now, the spousal unit sucks on the despised cancer sticks. I am never idle in chastizing him for tossing butts carelessly about. But even he knows that this is just not done.

A few minutes later, the guy makes another lap. Apparently he hasn't ordered anything - he's just found a place to wander around while catching a drag. As he passes my table, the guy at the table behind me notices me watching Ashomatic and asks me, "Did he do it again?" Aha! So I'm not being unnecessarily indignant!

I'm so thankful I never picked up that habit. Look what it can make you do!


Tanya Espanya said...

WTF, man?! That's just rude!

BeckEye said...

You should've walked right in front of him and farted. Or burped. Not ladylike, but what the heck.

justacoolcat said...

What a perfect opportunity to get hauled away by airport security for foot tapping your way around his skull.

Slave to the dogs said...

Tanya - seriously! His dangling ash was mere inches above my food.

Beckeye - damn, that's a great idea. I wouldn't have been concerned about being ladylike at the time.

Cat - that would have been sweet, I would have had an excuse for missing work!