On the upside

Not being pregnant yet means the following:

• The spousal unit and I can squeeze in a SCUBA certification class and do our open water cert dive when we are in St. Maarten in less than 2 weeks.


• I don't have to drink virgin umbrella drinks while we're there.


• I won't be in the last stage of my pregnancy during the dog days of summer.


• We can now definitely make a trip to Orlando with the niece and nephew in July.


• Delaying morning sickness - yipee!

We spoke to the doctor yesterday and are planning to start another IVF cycle right away. There are plans in place to change the protocol in order to increase our chances.

Apparently even though Fergus and Fergalina looked all nice and symmetrical, they really didn't stand much of a chance. At their stage of development they should have been 8-10 cells instead of 6. So those two just weren't meant to be babies.

Update

Didn't work. Got the call this morning. I'm not pregnant.

So it looks like the fertility posts continue.

Merry Christmas everyone! I probaby won't be back until Thursday.

A first peek

Here you go. The spousal unit has dubbed them Fergus and Fergalina. I'm letting him have his fun for now.

This is what they looked like shortly before being transferred back into me first thing on Thursday morning. 6 cells each, nice size and form. That procedure was a breeze, except....

I had to drink 32 ounces of water 1 1/2 hours before the procedure. Had to hold onto it until they were done. You should have seen me fly off the table into the bathroom when the timer went off. I looked like a star sprinter.

And a parting gift...the little fellas in their new home. I've circled where they were the doc said they were, in between 2 white air bubbles.

Easter in December

I apologize for not inviting you to the egg hunt. It happened inside my ovaries on Monday at my doctor's office. Lucky doc found 20 eggs!

So of those 20:

8 = immature
5 = duds (sperm injected but did nothing)
1 = freak of nature (fertilized, started growing irregularly)
2 = slowpokes (fertilized, not dividing yet)
4 = frontrunners (fertilized, 2 cells as of midnight)

I get to see video of the frontrunners tomorrow right before they shove 2 of them back in. The other 2, if they are still good, get to take a little nap in the freezer.

Come visit on Christmas Eve. That's when I find out if things took.

Play Along - Drink Most Foul

I've come up with a game. Please play with me.

The game is to invent a disgusting drink (alcoholic preferred but non will do) and come up with a name for it. This should provide loads of easy entertainment for simple-minded people like me.

I'll start.

Double Fountain - prune juice & tequila

UPDATES:
Swamp Water - wheatgrass and tequila, by Cat
Teeter Totter - Red Bull and Nyquil by Mur
Bubble Vision - Dish detergent and absinthe by Metro
Licorice Margarrhea - tequila, sambuca and Pepto Bismol by Beckeye

Keep 'em coming kids. Good stuff! Perhaps we'll put these on the menu when the spousal unit opens his bar.

Thank God for dead racoons

Headed out for the daily mail retrieval, kerpupples in tow. I haven't mentioned it yet, but the latest round of injections have me feeling like pure, unadulterated crap. And I'm getting a cold too. So I wasn't entirely with it when we ventured out.

Sasha spent yesterday sleeping and lounging, recovering from several days at the kennel. Today she's gotten her spirit back. All it took was a tired Slave to flub the leash when trying to switch it between hands, and she was off like the hellion she usually is.

I called her sweetly to no avail, and ended up chasing her all around the lake. The other 2 dogs joined me in pursuit.

Ripley managed to catch up with Sasha, and they had a fine time chasing the geese into the middle of the lake. But they made it back to shore and Sasha sashayed off before I could catch up.

My saving grace? They encountered the carcass of a racoon on the path. It's head was creepily, perfectly preserved. Sasha tried to grab it and run off with it but it proved too awkward. I waited near the treasure, and sure enough, she couldn't stay away. I snatched up her leash when she returned and started towards home, cursing and scolding her profusely.

She managed to snatch up what looked like a femur or a lesser leg bone as we left. I had to pry it out of her mouth before she could start crunching on it.

Most excellent timing

Last night I headed to the mall with a list of items to pick up in hand. One such item, a bra of a particular brand, could only be found at Nordstrom.

I parked outside Nordstrom and attempted to enter to find the doors locked. How odd! Another patron who walked by informed me that they were having "a special event" but it didn't start until 7.

So I went in another entrance and decided to acquire the rest of the things I needed first. I accomplished this task in nearly record time. I headed back to Nordstrom's mall entrance only to find it locked up. Huh?

I left through another store and noticed a sign outside Nordstrom's door. It said to please use the north entrance. Intrigued, I headed north.

Outside the north entrance sat a woman at a table with a list. It felt like trying to get into an exclusive club. The woman informed me that they were holding a "special event" (so much vaguery - I half wondered if there was to be an execution inside). When I asked if I could enter to purchase something, I was added to the list as a write-in and shown through the door.

Behold! Hors d'ouvres! Wine! Beer! Martinis! And I hadn't eaten dinner yet. What luck!

I bumped into an old friend inside who'd actually been invited to the shindig, apparently held for Nordstrom's big spenders. Funny story - my friend needed a fair amount of frequent flyer miles to book a trip to South America. So she buys a $10,000 pair of earrings, books the trip with the miles, and then returns the earrings. Quite ingenious.

Today I realized how fortuitous my timing actually was. My "egg retrieval" cycle starts today. That means no booze for the next month, or more like the next year if things go as hoped.

All hail Nordstrom.

Nobody's a-readin' the blaaaaaaaaaah-g

And why would they be? I'd need to squeeze some time outta nowhere in order to create some interesting posts. So here's some nutshells:

Injections: not-so-bad - YET

Thanksgiving: California, ham (I know, a travesty!), bacar, walking along Lake Chabot

Work: grrrrrrrrr

Kerpupples: missed-em-oh-so-much

New blogsession: The Daily Coyote

And a shout out to metro and cat (I love your blog name) for stopping by recently. Always happy to see a new friendly face.

And so it begins...

Today I start the official treatment for my IVF cycle.

I guess I've technically already started. I've been on the pill for about a month to "quiet my reproductive system". Today the magic ultrasound probe confirmed - I have calm ovaries.

So now I get to start the daily injections.

You should see the box of drugs that showed up at my house. I feel like I could open my own pharmacy. Pills and vials and creams, oh my! Some even need stored in the refrigerator. And if I happen to lose my job, I could make some green by keeping junkies in needles for a comfy amount of time.

I also have to take a low-dose aspirin daily. Of course I got the baby-aspirin branded version, cherry flavor to be precise. You have to take those throwbacks to childhood where you can get them.

A friend suggested I get weekly massages to help make the process easier. I think that's a damn grand idea.

Odds and ends

Strange sighting the other day. A teenage boy, dressed like a trenchcoat mafia member, riding a Segway on the sidewalk along a busy suburban road. Do you think it was his grandmother's?

Don't ever wake a dog up in the middle of a vigorous dream! I made the mistake of doing so to Sasha the other day and she tried to bite me. She just sat there looking befuddled for another hour or so after that. I'd wondered a few weeks ago whether dogs understand the concept of dreams. I'd now guess they don't.

Another fun show I'll have to miss

Next week on the day we fly to California for Turkey day, Juliette and the Licks are playing a show at a small venue here.

Tickets are only $15. That's well worth seeing the freakshow of a performance the ex-almost-Mrs.-Pitt will put on. Have you seen her costumes? Girlfriend goes on stage wearing an indian chief headdress.

Of course, folks like justacoolcat may be at risk of getting a stiffy.

Consistency, please?

Is that too much to ask?

Freakin' garbage collectors.

One week they come at 7:15 AM, the next they come at 11 AM.

Oh, and if you try to run after them to get them to come back? You KNOW they see you. But they always keep going.

Jerks.

I guess if I had to do that for a living I'd be a dickhead too.

Decaffing

So in honor of the upcoming fertility procedures and the anticipated pregnancy, I'm cranking down the caffeine. I usually have 2 cups of coffee in the morning and an iced tea or a soda during the day. I've changed the coffee routine. I'll still have 2 cups, but I'm brewing a mixture of half regular, half decaf. I'll be buying decaf soda.


It's funny - I don't have any other addictions. But I'm not looking forward to this.

Be forewarned - any crankity posts are likely being generated primarily by caffeine deprivation.

I could also have a tendency to dozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ergh, see, it's happening already!!!

If I could bottle this and sell it....

I'd never have to work again.



I suspsect many a meth lab operator has had similar designs.

That rug downstairs never manages to stay straight with this bunch in the house.

Dogdial

I could set my watch by Ripley.

I started a ritual some months back of taking the dogs to go get the mail (our mailbox is down the street) every afternoon at 3 PM. This was a good point to break up the afternoon of drudgery work and late enough to ensure our mail carrier has been here.

So at some point I stopped having to call the dogs for our daily diversion. Ripley would show up next to my desk very near 3 o'clock, ears perked staring up at me expectantly.

So today at 5 til 2, she does the same thing. I chide her for being early, and then I realize that my dog's body clock does not observe the switch from Daylight Savings to Standard time.

The whole routine is repeated at 6 PM for doggy chow.

LOLDogs

Watch out, Paris and Lindsay!

Check out this little hottie.

It's my niece. She's 4.

Looks older though, doesn't she? She's got the hip jut and the half-smile mastered already. I don't envy being her parents when she gets into her teens.

Happy Halloween!

From the spidery witch

and the devil dog

Taking prophylactics (sorta) seriously....

Tee hee...

She's Alive!

Wish we could say the same for the Rockies. Touché, Red Sox, you are truly the better team.

I'm making my way down recovery road. Doc found a bunch of polyps in addition to my adhesions so a complete D&C was performed to get everything the heck outta Dodge. Pain hasn't been too terrible - no Vicodin at all today.

Halloween costume turned out well. I was happy with the dress, though not with the size of its wearer. Pictures to follow.