Kerpupples

Morgan Stella

2009-05-06T16:25:00.001-07:00

Born April 26th, 2009. She was a month early so she's had some lung problems and is getting out of the NICU tomorrow. We're in love!

A delightful tale

2008-12-19T16:25:00.001-08:00

Of Slave being embarassed, and plumbers, and poo. I have to run off to a holiday party, but stay tuned for this one. I'll call it my Christmas present to all of you!

To spam or not to spam

2008-12-03T21:36:00.000-08:00

The spousal unit's company isn't doing well. He's doing work that he hates. So he's in the market for a new job.

A tech recruiter contacted him yesterday about a job where the hiring manager is someone I used to work for. The work interested the spousal unit, so I tracked my former boss down and gave him a heads up that he'd be getting the spousal unit's resume soon.

In the meantime, the spousal unit starts researching this company. Turns out that the CEO has the title on Wikipedia of "king of spam". The company has gotten in trouble for hacking MySpace with spam and for stealing IP addresses. Now he's not so sure he wants the job.

There are some reasons to take it. It would be really good for his resume if he could work with these particular technologies again. It's close to home. It pays very well and we have a baby on the way. Plus, I'd look rather foolish to my former boss if the spousal unit decides not to interview with this company.

On the other hand, well, it's spam. And the technologies may not look so good on the resume if the company has a bad reputation.

What to do?

Alive

2008-11-23T14:04:00.001-08:00

Hey all. Sorry for the disappearing act. I didn't go to Saudi and get stuck there. I'm alive and well. I've been a little preoccupied by this.

Will try to update more soon. I'm trying to limit my posts to funny, profound, and doggy, so we'll see how often I manage.

Oh, I've also been sucked in to Facebook. That site is like crack.

When it's still better to be a man

2008-09-02T16:25:00.000-07:00

My company has recently been doing work with Sabic, a Saudi Arabian company. I've worked at places that have done business with the Saudis in the past, but this experience takes the cake.

For one, Sabic doesn't hire women. At all. For anything. At least with previous clients there was a female secretary here and there.

Next, if you are a married women entering Saudi Arabia on business without your husband, you must present customs with a letter from your husband giving his permission for you to do so. Furthermore, upon departing the country, you must present customs with another letter deeming your return home acceptable.

What do they do with the women who have the first letter but not the second?

I consider myself extremely lucky to have been born in the West.

2 Degrees of Bubba Clinton

2008-08-21T11:32:00.000-07:00

I recently started seeing a new hairstylist. She's a friend from our softball team and she works at a very reputable salon downtown. She just found out last week that she's been selected to do hair and makeup for Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, and Caroline Kennedy next week for the DNC. In addition to the coolness factor she'll make some major bank off the deal. I can't wait to hear how it goes.

Beckeye, do you have time to grab my pic off MySpace and put some Hillary hair on it? ;) I'd do it myself but you all have seen my (lack of) Photoshopping skills.

So let's see, the connection goes:

Slave-->Hairdresser-->Hillary-->Bubba

That's only 2 degrees, right? Aweosme thing is that puts ~~God~~ Barack and JFK at the same level. ;)

Next week is going to be madness. As much as I'd like to ogle I think the best thing to do is avoid downtown at all costs.

In the Minority

2008-08-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

I admit that I am NOT one of the millions of Americans who is enamored with Michael Phelps.

I can appreciate his athletic prowess. The guy's got major talent. But he seems like an arrogant creep.

Did you see him screaming at his teammates in the 800X relay? They more than doubled the lead you created in the opening leg, buddy. Sit down. You are great but you are not alone.

On the Trail

2008-08-08T15:09:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow I'm going to spend 3 hours canvassing for my Presidential candidate of choice. Monday I'm making calls for him. I hope I don't get too many door/phone slams.

Grasping

2008-08-05T14:23:00.000-07:00

I've clearly become bored of the diary blog format and need something new. Trying to figure out what that "new" is. Suggestions?

Whew...

2008-07-25T10:10:00.001-07:00

This is what 11 years of consulting does to you. I've been everywhere that's red.

visited 39 states (78%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or determine the next president

Clearly I need to get in a car and head north for about 8 hours to expand the territory.

Thanks Megan for the link!

Reorg

2008-06-30T17:06:00.000-07:00

Forgive me all. I'm juggling a million balls right now and I've dropped the blog ball temporarily. I'll pick it up again once all the other balls are back where they belong. I apologize that I'm not sure how long that will take.

As a tide over...

Any Grey's Anatomy or Boston Legal fans out there? If so, you'll be intrigued to hear that I saw Brooke Smith (Dr. Erica Hahn) and Saffron Burrows at the airport in Burlington, Vermont yesterday. They were going through security together. I don't watch Grey's or Boston but I recognized Saffron (she's extremely thin in person) from Circle of Friends, and my avid Grey's fan colleague picked out Brooke immediately. Strange place to intersect with the C list.

Wait for it...

2008-06-24T14:50:00.000-07:00

Sorry kids...will update you soon with tales of horrid call center outsourcing experiences, mermaids sprouting appendages from their bottoms that weren't tails and Beckeye in person...

Politicians and condoms

2008-06-17T20:13:00.000-07:00

I got an email earlier from an online retailer with a subject line that began:

2-Pk Hi-Fi Earphones = $10, Trojans = $10

If your mind is in the gutter like mine you know what you thought they were selling. This place normally sells electronics, so I figured I must not be in-the-know about the latest cell phone model, or some other gadget named by a marketing team with a kindergarten sense of humor.

Nope. Turns out it is indeed a 24-pack of raincoats. It's been many years since I've had to buy any, but it sounds like a bargain. And tres discreet buying online. Just hope you don't need them tonight!

I just got back from the King of Prussia mall. Holy shopping Mecca! I heard it was one of the largest in the country and I was only disappointed that I had so little time to explore.

Urban Outfitters had 2 T-shirts picturing Barack Obama. I nearly picked one up in part to amuse the spousal unit, who calls me "Obama Fangirl". The problem was that they were both possibly racist, and most certainly weird.

The first pictured his likeness with the slogan "Obama for ya Mama!" While not as bad as the Curious George shirts, I wasn't quite comfortable with this. If I weren't Whitey McSquare I might pull this shirt off but it's one trail I'm not going to attempt to blaze.

I liked the second slogan, "Barack you Rock!" better, but the picture of him in Uncle Sam garb also creeped me out.

I'd complain about the store not selling shirts picturing McCain as well (perhaps Talbot's carries them) except nobody wants to look at the old coot anyway.

What's the dog equivalent of a coconut?

2008-06-13T14:14:00.000-07:00

They have a term for anglicized Hispanics in New Mexico (and perhaps other areas of the country as well). They call them coconuts.

According to this sled-dog trainer, "breeds such as ... Huskies ... actually are more comfortable in the cold than in a warm environment."

Oh really?

Perhaps he can explain why this is my husky's favorite way to spend her days as they heat up.

So what's the opposite of a coconut? White and furry on the outside, but brown and suntanned at heart?

Here, There, and Everywhere

2008-06-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't had to travel all year for work, but now it's catching up with me.

Next week I'll be in Philadelphia for training. The spousal unit joins me on Wednesday night to stay the weekend. We'll be visiting Sideshow Bob. Any NY bloggers wanna trek down for a visit? Chel? BeckEye (I know how you love Philly)?

The following weekend I'm off to Woodstock for our annual summer meeting. Oh cool, rock and roll nostalgia! Nope. It's not that Woodstock. I'm headed to Woodstock, Vermont. Never been to Vermont before so it should be nice.

Then less than 2 weeks later the spousal unit and I are spending the week in Orlando with his sister and her husband and kids. I'll be working part of the time and plan to spend at least one day just lounging by the pool.

Before I know it the summer will be over. It's about 60 degrees outside today - it's hardly even started yet!

Scenes from the Apocalypse

2008-06-09T10:09:00.000-07:00

We took a drive to the south side of town during our trip to NM a few weeks ago. We'd been told that a technological park "rivalling Silicon Valley" was being built in the area south of the airport. Not necessarily sold (people in Albuquerque always seem convinced that the rest of the country is on the brink of moving there), we decided to go check it out ourselves.

Also located in this area is a relatively new film studio. Seems production is cheap there and they are drawing some larger films. We'd heard (and the link above confirms) that T4 was being shot at the time.

So back to the tech park. We found one lonely building housing a solar energy company. Roads seem to be in place to support more, but who knows how long that will take.

What was more interesting were the cars on the road. It appeared they'd been hit by....something. We figured it was a set for T4. Check it out.

Note the CA license plates.

This fella got mangled pretty good.

Now I may actually see T4 so that I can say "Hey, I saw that!" when those cars show up in the film.

Local haps

2008-06-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

I just have to clue you in on a couple things going down in the Mile High.

Ass Party Moratorium The DNC wants to scale back from 2 dozen convention shindigs to only 1? I don't like this. It greatly decreases my odds of sneaking in.

(begin digression)
Last night I had a dream that I was volunteering at the convention. I happened to pass a doorway just as Obama was walking out, and the guy seemed to be about 8 feet tall. Symbolism, anyone?
(end digression)

The other thing you just have to read about are the thong bandits. I made certain to find a link with pictures for this one.

The radio jocks had a field day with this one. "Man, can I borrow your chick's thong? My girl's ass is too big, it falls off my head!" Seriously though, you really have to wonder about these fellows' thought process when planning this robbery. Whose did they use? Why do they seem to match? If they were new, why not go with a pair of boyshorts instead? They'd certainly cover your face better.

And I'd hate to have been that convenience store clerk. Imagine realizing what they had on their faces and then trying to stifle your reaction.

The best part of the article is the descriptions of the perpetrators. "Last seen wearing...a green thong over his face." OK, I'll be on the lookout for thongface, but I'm not optimistic I'll see him.

Hawaii in My Backyard

2008-06-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

I don't have a beach. Or even a swimming pool. No glorious sunsets with a golden globe sinking into the ocean. You can't see steep rain-forested cliffs from my deck.

But I do have a little slice of the tropics in a pot. Here's my hibiscus in full flower with 15 more blooms on the way.

Estrogen overload

2008-06-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

Friday night was spent on a girls' outing to see the much awaited Sex and the City (or as I liked to call the TV series, Sluts and their Titties) movie. It was quite an experience.

First of all, there were 17 women in our group. Seventeen! I'm not sure I've been with that many females since I was a Girl Scout. I'm glad I'm not the one who had to deal with the dinner reservations.

We thought we were going to have time to throw a few back between the meal and the 11 PM show, but it was not to be. I was petrified of falling asleep. Luckily the restaurant obliged me by serving an espresso martini so I could get my caffeine and alcohol buzz simultaneously. Muuuuuuuuuuuuch tastier than Red Bull and Vodka.

Here's some shots of me and the other Sluts in our group who I actually knew.

We got in line at about 10:15 for the show. Besides theater employees and the occasional gay gouple, there was nary a male in sight. See for yourself. If our cycles were all aligned we'd have been able to change the orbit of the moon.

Once in, we actually managed to find seats together. Half our bunch fled to the loo or the concession stand, leaving the rest of us to hold their seats. One group of 5 girls tried to muscle their way into the open seats by saying that "they'd checked with management" and it was "illegal" to save that many seats. Illegal! There must be an obscure code written somewhere. They were actually trying to climb over the seats and snag them from the next aisle back. I think if a fight ensued we'd have all pled estrogen intoxication, but we managed to shoo them away.

I won't review the actual movie as to avoid any spoilers. I will say that my expectations weren't high given all the hoopla, but I didn't walk away unhappy.

Nice butt

2008-05-29T15:52:00.000-07:00

Roscoe tries to hide when he hears thunder or someone raises their voice. This is what happens when the computer compartment in the desk is open and I have a bad moment on the job.

I guess we're lucky he didn't take out the cable modem!

Here Comes The Rain Again

2008-05-27T15:25:00.000-07:00

Fallin' on my head like a tragedy
Fallin' on my head like it's not almost freakin' June already!!!

Shit weather in NM Thursday and Friday. More of the same when we got home last night. Summer sure seems to be dragging its feet this year, and winter still has spring tied up in the closet.

The good side is that all the plants look wonderful. I planted some zinnias, hollyhocks, and rose moss seeds before we left and they're all coming up. Sunshine after all this moisture should make them grow like weeds. Ha.

Yesterday before we left the mouse appeared again, but this time Roscoe caught it! We made him drop it for fear of rabies or hantavirus. Guess who got stuck disposing of the poor little critter? Yours truly! I picked it up with a couple of paper towels. It wasn't quite dead, and I didn't want it to suffer too terribly in the hot waste bin I was going to toss it in. So I put the entire bundle on the ground and stomped on it first. A little bit of bloody goo shot out from the paper towels. I was unsettled for a few hours afterwards.

No sign of mama robin today. I'm bummed and not looking forward to retrieving the eggs out of the nest.

Non-blogging vacation

2008-05-24T17:51:00.000-07:00

Hi all, just thought I'd let you know I'm in Albuquerque for the holiday and not really blogging. You'd have been quite tickled to watch Ripley chasing a mouse on my mother-in-law's patio, or to see me jump a few feet in the air when the mouse ran out from under a bench straight towards me, but unfortunately the videographer was on a smoke break.

So, happy barbecuing to all! I'll let you know what the nest looks like when I get home next week.

Painblogging - now live!

2008-05-20T15:56:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in a periodontist's lobby waiting for the spousal unit while he has a tooth extracted. He grinds them at night and fractured one to the roots.

This is not pleasant. There's no doors in this joint and I can hear everything.

"Good job!" -frequently

"You're going to hear a sound, don't be alarmed..." WTF? I heard that sound out here!

"You definitely made the right call..."

And the constant grinding sound. He's getting a bone graft with something the dentist called "human bone product". Doesn't that sound nifty?

Etc., tweet tweet!

2008-05-19T19:40:00.001-07:00

Wow.

Work and softball and wait, cancelled due to rain that wasn't and more work work work and birthday party and Iron Man, overrated and shopping for plants and bird feeders and food and dinner at The Med in Boulder, yumity yum and planting and digging and pulling and cutting and scraping and work and trip to the pharmacy and dinner and...phew!

I forgot to add in sleep and trips to the loo, but that's more or less what I've been up to since we last typed.

This little robin has been equally busy. She's got a nest on our porch. Opening the front door scares her off so I spy on her through the window.

I've been dying to see what the eggs look like, so today I busted out a ladder and the camera while mama and papa were out on a date, or whatever birds do while they are away from the nest. Aren't they beautiful?

Mama bird hasn't been back all day. I didn't scare her away when I took my pictures, did I? I was very careful not to touch nest or eggs.

Here's a little black and orange fella feasting on the bounty in my newly hung feeder. Orange head and chest, black everything else. Oriole, perhaps? You can see him better if you click on the picture. It's not all the bad considering digital zoom was engaged and it was taken through a screen.

Then later today a big grackle was trying to figure out how to land on the feeder without tipping it. He ended up just picking the leavings out of the rocks below.

Megan's Meme

2008-05-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

Haven't done a meme in awhile, so here goes. Thanks Megan!

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Locate the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences on your blog and in so doing…
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

"As he had for months now, Adams struggled to keep a balance with the need, on one hand, for all possible haste, and the need, on the other, to keep from pushing too fast, forcing events too soon. Some things, some people, must not be hurried. Time and timing were both of the essence, now more than ever."

I don't have that many readers, so everyone who reads this is tagged.

Dia de los Madres

2008-05-12T18:54:00.000-07:00

Headed down to see the mamacita for the weekend. She lives just 2 1/2 hours away from us now so it's a quick skip. The trip yesterday morning took me through Castle Rock.

Stephen King fans know the name of this fictional Maine town well. What you may not realize is that monsieur King lived briefly as a child in our lovely state. Makes sense, given that a few of his non-Maine books (The Stand, The Shining, Misery) are in fact set here. Thus, I choose to believe that above rock partly inspired the stories that have haunted me over the years.

Next stop, Colorado Springs, or as locals call it, the Springs. Gorgeous vistas abound, of the quality that make you think God likes this place. Perhaps that's why so many of his Christian followers flock here.

I snapped a shot with my phone that didn't come out of a Got Jesus? bumper sticker. If I didn't, do you think I could pick up a quart of Jesus at the corner store?

Finally, to casa de Mama. We spent a leisurely day lunching and taking the dogs (all 4 of them) to frolic in the Arkansas river.

Sunday we had waffles for breakfast and then headed out on the Royal Gorge train route. Mother nature cooperated and we were able to spend some time in the open air car. Here's a pic of the world's highest suspension bridge.

And finally, back home. Ripley and Roscoe were not thrilled by the long car ride.

Grassically Challenged

2008-05-09T11:15:00.000-07:00

You probably realize that I like to garden, but it may come as a suprise that the spousal unit and I suck at keeping the lawn.

Yesterday I went out to dig out all the weeds that have crept in. Who knew it was so satisfying to call a dandelion a stupid twat? It's too bad though, because now most of the green part of my lawn, the weeds, is now gone. There are a couple rental houses in the neighborhood whose lawns are more dead than ours. I'm sure the neighbors on our street are pleased with us.

I know it would help if we watered the damn thing. Some day very soon we'll get our sprinklers running for the season. Fertilizer? Weed and feed? Got bags of the stuff in the garage but no clue when or how often we should apply.

And mowing? Let's not discuss that.

I think we're going to throw in the towel and hire a lawn service.

Moniker Chuckles

2008-05-07T09:58:00.001-07:00

Just thought I'd share with you a couple of names that have made me giggle lately.

The spousal unit's boss is named Tom Waits. Seriously. Now, that's got to be a common name, a'la Rod Stewart or Chris Martin, but it still makes me grin whenever I hear it.

I love Dutch words and names specifically with their overabundance of vowels. I stumbled on an article in National Geographic the other day by one Stephen Van Der Aa. You have to pronounce it out loud to get the full effect. "Van Der Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah".

Share with me some names you've found amusing!

All is Not As It Seems

2008-05-05T12:29:00.001-07:00

What is this, you may ask. Does Slave have access to Amy Winehouse's flat in London? Did she somehow get backstage at the Good Charlotte concert to whoop it up with Paris and Nicole?

Nope. This is what happens when you have to travel with injectable fertility drugs and are too lazy to clean up the mess you made using your in-room coffeemaker. They never give you enough sugar to go with the coffee!

Kudos to the spousal unit for having the presence of mind to capture this clever shot.

Bizarre Love Triangle

2008-05-01T17:28:00.001-07:00

Roscoe and Sasha share a tender moment.

Ripley must console herself by remembering that she still controls the pocketbook.*

_{* Photos actually taken within seconds of each other}

A bad lead-in

2008-04-29T19:10:00.000-07:00

I just came in from repotting a plant on my front porch. While I was outside a cute, clean-cut teenage girl approached my house.

The first thing she said was, "I'm not trying to sell you candy."

She went on to explain how she was trying to raise money for college tuition, and pulled a laminated card from her back pocket that had a paragraph on the front I didn't bother to read and a Colorado State University logo at the bottom.

I turned the card over. On the back were pictures of our local daily newspapers.

She would have been better off trying to sell me candy. Even if it wasn't a scam (which it most likely was), printed news is dead in our household. We prefer to cherry-pick what we read online, and I have no interest in bundling old papers for the recycling bin. We've even let subscriptions to Time and National Geographic lapse. The spousal unit still picks up The Economist on occasion, but the rest of our news is all virtual.

But I still felt bad when she walked away. She looked awfully sweet and was quite polite when I turned her down.

Whine not

2008-04-25T09:57:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how much negativity gets batted about on the intertubes. At least half of the articles and blogs I read nowadays could assume an alternate title of "XYZ Sucks!!!!" What good does it serve? Live your life. Try to feel peace. Remember that the venom that you spew, even if in support of a noble cause, propagates more of the same. Venting is only productive up to a point, and then it just turns into whining.

I want to hear about the good things that happen in your lives. I can't resist a creative story. I can't keep reading, however, that my car isn't hybrid enough or that the other side are idiots because they are too liberal/conservative/gay/Christian/what-the-fuck-ever or that America's corporate evildom is dooming the entire world to futility. Yes, the world is full of injustice. It is no worse than it has ever been. We are dealing with our own unique set of problems just as those in the past have done and the unborn will also have to do.

Now if only the media would take this to heart.

JACC, I love hearing about how you enjoy something as simple as Pappys.

Chelene, nakedness and Spike Lee make me smile.

Beckeye, I adore your obsession with Michael Johns.

Tanya, I'll keep reading Alexander's blog in your absence because he is the most clever and fun baby ever.

Metro, your creative posts help me aspire to be a better writer.

Mur, you come up with the most random and clever posts that make me chuckle.

Pugs, I miss your more personal posts.

Amanda, I look forward to reading about Mexico!!!

Kevin, it's good to read about you and Jody and the new stage in your life.

And now I'll contribute a bit of my own.

Here's a flowerbed we built in the back yard a few years ago. The dark orange daylily is coming back full-force.

There's some cleanup to do, and notice the hole where Ripley can't resist an occasional dig. But this is the view from my office window and it is quite tranquil when things are in bloom. It gives me something to look forward to. I think we can all use a little more of that.

Pity me please

2008-04-22T14:24:00.001-07:00

I'm working out on my deck this afternoon. My screen is sort of hard to see and I keep having to move my chaise lounge to follow the shade.

Don't you feel awful for me?

Consolation

2008-04-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

Today at lunch I consoled myself about not going to China with some nummy Indian leftovers. The spousal unit and I combined them in one container, and they got all mixed together. I dubbed the resulting dish "Lamb-Chicken Sagaloo". It was quite delicious.

Nothing too fabulous over the weekend. Sasha escaped the yard once again. Usually I can go after her with the car and she'll hop right in, but she discovered that if she keeps running the chase is even faster than when I'm on foot. Ripley also decided that following Sasha on her wanderings is a good time. Bad bad dogs.

I puttered in the yard, pulling up dead things and making room on the deck for our outdoor sofa, chairs, and firepit/coffee table that are currently on order. I think we'll add in a raised pond (no room for a pool like some other lucky bloggers) to complete our mini backyard oasis.

Caught the Merry Wives of Windsor on Sat. night. Live theater is the best. Here's a preshow shot of the convention center and a fun sculpture from the performing arts center balcony. Doesn't that piece of roof look like you could just break it off?

Send me your mojo

2008-04-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to get sent to China for work. I'd leave a week from Saturday and would be there for 2 weeks. Destinations are Shanghai and 2 other destinations TBD.

Cross all your appendages and send me all your good mojo please! I'll find out tomorrow.

UPDATE: No China for me this time. But it could be in the cards for the future.

Bugs Husky

2008-04-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

Sasha looooooooooooves carrots. She's learned to recognize the sound of the crisper drawer where we keep the carrots being opened. She'll come running in from the nether regions of the house, wagging her tail and wearing an expectant expression.

Roscoe and Ripley like carrots too but not like this cartoon character does.

Weekly oddity

2008-04-11T21:22:00.001-07:00

I'm going to attempt to make this a feature on my blog. Here's this week's "huh?" moment.

Book Snob

2008-04-10T20:07:00.000-07:00

For a number of months now I've been a member of a book club that a friend runs. So far there have been 2 books I could have done without (not worth mentioning), 2 I liked (A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and A Long Way Gone), and 2 that I loved (The Glass Castle, Water for Elephants (my choice)).

Said friend also lent me a book from her self-expressed favorite series - Confessions of a Shopaholic. I'd seen these books while browsing the chick-lit shelves in search of a beach read and they looked harmless enough, so I opted to give it a try. Being a female who really likes to shop, I figured we'd be compatible.

I can't say that I've ever been more disgusted with the "heroine" of a novel. This chick is shallow, stupid, dishonest, and a golddigger. Even the shopping was a letdown - I couldn't suspend my disbelief long enough to buy that a marginally employed 25-year-old can have a wardrobe sprinkled with Jimmy Choo and Dolce & Gabbana. The only redeeming quaility that I could find in the book was that the predicaments this idiot managed to get herself in were pretty funny.

So this friend is hosting next month and has selected another book by the same author. This book is sitting in my house because she left it here last month, and yet I still refuse to read it. I think I'm going to tell her that I'll be out of town for work. I realize I'm being obstinate and not entirely reasonable, but I just can't bring myself to pick the thing up.

So am I a total snoot?

Blood is still red last time I checked

2008-04-09T14:40:00.000-07:00

Metro has a couple of current posts about how to help the environment. You can see I voiced my dissent regarding some of his views but it is a common cause. He reminded me of a post I've had in the back of my mind for weeks now.

As you can surmise, I've spent much more time than normal at the doctor's office lately. And it's struck me as a place that's in no way green. Every time I hop up on the table I sit on a disposable paper cover. I drape myself with a single-use paper "cloth". And then there's all the biohazardous waste that's incinerated. When I dropped off all my used syringes to be disposed of, I couldn't even keep the container for reuse.

Now, I realize this is probably a smidgen of a problem, if that, compared to emissions and factory livestock farming. But it still seems as if it could be improved upon. Or is there too much of a health risk involved? You tell me.

It seems as if syringes could be effectively sterilized and reused. Or maybe cloth drapes would be an option (except those too would need to be washed after every use). What else?

Human Garbage

2008-04-07T16:20:00.000-07:00

Please read this story about a poor dog that was cruelly starved in the name of art.

A Costa Rican artist did an exhibition in Managua, Nicaragua. He paid some kids to catch an emaciated street dog. He tied up the dog underneath the words "You are what you read" pasted on the wall in dog food. He did not allow anyone to give the dog food or water. The dog died as a result of this exhibition.

Look at the third picture down. I'm really not sure who is worse - the artist or all these jackasses standing around munching wine and cheese while this poor creature suffered. It would have taken force to keep me from helping this animal had I been in attendance.

It gets worse. This creep actually won a prize for this "exhibit" and has been asked to show at a national event in Honduras. There's a petition to keep this from happening. Please sign it if you're willing.

Waterboarding? Too kind for this bastard.

Raktadana

2008-04-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

Sanskrit for blood donation.

My friend Pugs over at Tittybits posted a disturbing story about forced raktadana in India.

India is such a conundrum to me. The standard of living varies so widely. I've worked with my share of Indians here on H1B visas. It's odd to realize that those people typically come from the higher Indian castes. And they still want to work here to do better.

That does seem to be changing somewhat. I think this is great. Maybe it's because my own job was never in jeopardy, but I'm happy with the effects that outsourcing has had worldwide. Despite the initial impact, it seems that the offshore movement hasn't really hurt the US IT field. There will always be a need for face to face operations as well as cultural familiarity in business operations that offshoring won't affect. And just because people live in India and not America doesn't mean they have any less right to a better life.

The spousal unit had a great time working with a bunch of Indian fellows last year. He had the unique experience of being the only caucasian software developer in the whole company. Extremely smart guys. Wonderful sense of humor. They passed on this entertaining piece of Indian wisdom:

Heaven on Earth
Chinese food
English house
American salary
Indian wife

Hell on Earth
English food
Chinese house
Indian salary
American wife

More dog yoga

2008-04-02T11:33:00.000-07:00

Awhile back I linked to an article about dogs doing yoga. Well, apparently my crazy husky has jumped on the bandwagon.

They call this pose "Flasher".

Close to home

2008-03-31T09:19:00.000-07:00

A friend from an infertility support forum sent me this poem. I'm normally not one to make weepy posts but this captures perfectly the anguish that that spousal unit and I have been dealing with.

Just Those Few Weeks

For those few weeks
I had you to myself
And that seemed too short a time
to be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks
I came to know you
and to love you
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks
When I lost you.
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks
It wasn't enough time to convince others
how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
and no one is mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks
and no "normal" person would cry all night
over a tiny vanished baby,
or get depressed and withdrawn day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks my little one.
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life so much richer
and give me a small glimpse of eternity.

...Author Unknown

Humph

2008-03-28T14:51:00.000-07:00

I saw a clip of Bill Clinton stumping for his wife a couple of days ago. Bill usually tends towards eloquence, but the guy must be running on way too little sleep.

He was addressing Obama's campaign saying something negative about Hillary, and said something like:

"Apparently Mr. Obama thinks it's OK to pick on a girl."

I don't remember the exact wording other than he did call his wife a girl.

Huh? No, it's not OK to be mean to a 7 year old female. Is that really how a presidential candidate wants to represent herself? As a helpless child? Sheesh.

The Easter Miracle

2008-03-24T09:56:00.000-07:00

A few years ago we did Easter brunch with my in-laws and my sister-in-law's in-laws. The spousal unit decided to sit his nephew on his lap and tell him the story of the Easter miracle.

He told of how, on Good Friday, the Easter Bunny laid an easter egg. The bunny sat vigilantly on that egg until Easter Sunday, when lo and behold the baby Jesus hatched from that sacred egg.

His nephew listened, wide eyed. The in-law-in-laws are churchgoing, stern folks, and were not amused. The rest of us got a good chuckle from it.

Hope you all had a lovely Easter yesterday. I'm going to pick up some sticky-yummy-sweet marked down Cadbury Creme Eggs today. Thanks Easter Bunny, bwak bwak!

Comic Relief

2008-03-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

OK, I think after my last post you might need a laugh. I know I do.

I've decided to share my most embarassing moment ever with all my dear bloggies. This is a privelege to be cherished. The spousal unit once told this story among friends without my permission and got the cold shoulder for days.

About 5 years ago I got laid off. My company had been a startup, was purchased by a huge defense contractor and was subsequently run into the ground. I was one of many victims of their incompetence.

The weekend after the axe dropped we went down to New Mexico to visit family. We stayed with my mother-in-law. I'd made plans to have a night out with some girlfriends, and the spousal unit went out with his own friends that same evening.

I got TANKED. My friends did too. They were smart and got picked up/driven home by the men in their lives. I was too drunk and full of self-pity to be that responsible and drove home. Luckily the story continues and does not involve me heading to jail.

Back at my mother-in-law's, I was fumbling to dress for bed. Where in the hell is that pajama top! Ah who cares, I don't need it, I slurred to myself and crawled into bed.

The next morning, I awoke with a pounding headache and a suspicion that I had done something incredibly embarassing. Must have been a bad dream. I rose, found the missing pajama top on the floor, and fell back into bed. The spousal unit was already awake and came back into the room braying with laughter. Looks like it was no dream.

Apparently after I'd partially dressed for bed, I went into the bathroom to pee. When I came out, I stumbled back into the bedroom. My mother-in-law's bedroom.

I proceeded to crawl into bed topless with my mother-in-law and spoon her. Seems in my stupor I thought she was the spousal unit. She tried to right the situation but I dismissed her protests, saying I was quite comfortable. I didn't leave her bed until the spousal unit got home and managed to drag me back to our room.

I'm very lucky that my mother-in-law has a good sense of humor. Her biggest concern was that I'd driven home in that state.

The definition of bleak

2008-03-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

Our baby has no heartbeat. It's about half the size it should be at this stage.

We're going back to have one last look on Friday (we've had 2 already) but it doesn't look good.

Cruel twist? Apparently the placenta is still growing normally. So my hormones are still through the roof, I still have morning sickness, and my uterus still thinks things are hunky dory. This means that on Friday we probably get to figure out how to make my body void itself of our lifeless child.

My mind knows that it's for the best. That something went wrong and it wouldn't have been a normal child anyway. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

The bitterness is starting to set in too. I'll spare you the details, but it really blows to experience this as the latest of a series of many disappointments in our 4 1/2 year quest to have a child.

NEW and IMPROVED

2008-03-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

Morning sickness - now you too can have it all day long!

On the bright side, I haven't actually puked. But I do feel like I'm going to yak nearly constantly.

I need to get some saltines. And an accupressure bracelet. Any other remedies you want to share?

Blimey!

2008-03-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

Have been in Phoenix since Wednesday visiting the spousal unit's dad. We'll call him the SUD for short. I should mention that he's originally from Scotland.

Thursday morning I get up and scrounge around for something to eat. The SUD gets up and mentions that his wife eats porridge every morning if I'd like some of that. Porridge? Images of Goldilocks and stories from the Brothers Grimm pop into my head, and I am indelibly intrigued. I express enthusiasm at trying porridge for the first time.

A few minutes later, his wife (American) approaches me with a chuckle. She explains that what she eats for breakfast is oatmeal.

Bloody Brits! Who knew that porridge = oatmeal? I'm convinced that the SUD knew darn well that I'd misunderstood and kept up the gag.

The rest of the time here has been spent working (boo), golfing (nice to see quail and roadrunners on the course in addition to the usual ducks and geese), and learning how to play the nifty game of pickleball. I managed to crush the spousal unit, stowaway and all.

How was your weekend? Would you have fallen for the porridge gag?

Appalooslave

2008-03-05T07:25:00.001-08:00

This is what my ass is looking like these days.

I'm on daily progesterone shots until the 26th to help sustain the pregnancy. The needle is is an inch and a half long and must be inserted into my posterior muscle. In addition to the bruises, I've got little knots on each side too. It feels like my ass is full of marbles.

The spousal unit, who has the pleasure of administering the torture, is becoming much more comfortable as a sadist.

No you're NOT

2008-02-28T11:10:00.000-08:00

It's funny how people get on the same wavelengths. I've been planning this post for a couple of days. This morning I checked out Amanda's blog to find that she has similar complaints. What's your carbon skidmark like?

But I digress.

The topic of this post is a phrase that I hate. That phrase is, "we're pregnant".

Now, don't get me wrong. I understand and even agree with its intent. Couples want to include the father as more than just a sperm donor. Of course. But then why in the world could we not have stuck with "we're having a baby", which was the preferred lingo for years?

Until science makes some major advances, a man simply cannot call himself pregnant. Participating in the pregnancy secondhand just doesn't count. If that were the case, the expectant mother's entire set of family and friends could also say they are pregnant, no?

WE are not pregnant.

I am pregnant.

:)

Help me go to Vegas!

2008-02-20T14:32:00.000-08:00

I want to win ICHC's contest to send the spousal unit and I to Vegas.

More on the online Poker Cats Contest

Click on the kitteh picture above. Then click on the cheeseburgers above the picture to vote for me.

Thanks everyone! Even if you're just a lurker, you're much appreciated!

Bat Dog

2008-02-19T15:15:00.000-08:00

Is it a bird? A plane?

No, it's a Roscoe!

How funny would it be if his ears stood up?

It's on!

2008-02-17T10:33:00.001-08:00

OK kiddos. Come check out my non kerpupple rantings over at Slave to the Words.

Forgive me, I haven't updated my links over there yet. I will lead my meager readers to your blogs from there too.

Dog only blog?

2008-02-11T12:12:00.000-08:00

I need opinions.

I've gotten a link on Dog in My Pocket, an I Can Has Cheezburger-ish website about dogs instead of cats. I think they prefer to link to other doggie sites, and I haven't really been doing much kerpupple blogging here recently.

I'm thinking about making this blog dog-only and setting up another for my random personal rantings.

What say you?

The Contest Queen

2008-02-07T13:36:00.000-08:00

I may have blogged about this before, so forgive me if you've heard this.

I'm sort of lucky when it comes to contests. In college I won a few CDs from radio station contests and a trip to Lollapalooza at a bar drawing. Since then I've garnered concert tickets to see Alanis Morrisette (by doing something that I would never dream of doing now). There's also the Build the Outfit contest at the Manolo's blog, and the denim wardrobe that I won from one of Lucky Magazine's online sweepstakes they hold every month.

Well darned if I didn't hit it again. Lucky Magazine strikes again! I'll soon be receiving a bra and panty set from Calvin Klein in the mail.

Would somebody please tell me how I can strike it rich with this mediocre fortuitous streak of mine?

It can always be worse

2008-02-02T11:12:00.000-08:00

So a few posts ago I was whining about how cold it is in Denver in the wintertime. Wanting to run off to the islands. Well now I feel a bit better.

We've been in Oregon for a day and a half and it's been nothing but drizzle and drear. My cousins tell me this is a typical winter. You want nice weather? Come in June, they say.

At least through our cold and snow we get sunshine. 300 days a year, in fact.

I can see how Starbucks originated in this region. I've had massive coffee cravings since I've been here. I fear if I lived here I wouldn't appreciate all the lush green surroundings because I'd be inside hiding from the rain all the time.

Overshadowed

2008-01-31T14:26:00.000-08:00

So between a busy week at work, starting our next IVF cycle, preparing for my cousin's wedding on Saturday in Oregon, and Superbowl fever, I'm totally unprepared for my birthday on Sunday. It's not an unsignificant birthday, either. I'm turning 35. As it stands we'll be flying home and heading to some friends' for the tail end of a Superbowl party.

My doll of a spousal unit is insisting on celebrating next weekend when we don't have so much going on.

I asked for a Wii for my birthday, but there are none to be found. Rats! Seems I'll have to settle for an iPod Shuffle, which will be perfect for skiing and working out.

Where's Leta Lynn?

2008-01-30T13:30:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, Jan. 13th while in St. Maarten, the spousal unit and I supped at a delightful little outdoor pizza parlour called Mama Pizza. This place was very near our hotel and just on the French side of the island.

A trio at an adjacent table was engaged in an animated conversation. There was a man of German descent in his mid-to-late 40s, sporting a muscle shirt, camouflage cargos, and a rockin' Scorpions hairdo. A woman of about the same age had a wicked Long Island accent. The third member of the party was an elderly woman who spoke little.

As bits of their conversation drifted over we were able to determine that they were searching for someone. It sounded like a crime had been committed. Furthermore, they had been showing pictures around the hotel we were staying at, trying to locate a woman. Somebody said, "she's done this before". Then the woman kept saying that she wanted the police to use K9s. The man complained that the police were focusing too much on "building a case against him" and not enough on "finding her."

As morbid as it sounds, we were highly intrigued. During dinner I exchanged raised eyebrows with a woman at another table. She was clearly interested too. Back at our hotel, we searched for more clues to what was going on but found none. It felt as if we'd turned on a movie partway in and didn't get to see the ending.

Upon returning home, I enlisted my pal Google and found a St. Maarten news website. It turns out that Leta Lynn Cordes went missing on January 11th. She hasn't been found.

I'm really suprised this hasn't gotten more media coverage. Usually it's pretty big news when an American goes missing abroad. I hope they find her soon for the poor family's sake.

Heard while in the islands

2008-01-24T15:40:00.001-08:00

"You two don't have an American accent. You sound like Canadians."

I don't know what the hell they were talking aboot. I don't sound like no Canadian, eh!

Vacay-fun

2008-01-23T09:09:00.000-08:00

Hello friendly readers. Time for my overdue vacation recollections.

Man, coming back to single digit temperatures from being in the 80s all week suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. Would someone please remind me why I live somewhere that's so cold in the wintertime? Though there are others who have it worse. Did you watch the Green Bay-NY game on Sunday? Those guys looked truly miserable. I felt especially bad for the benchwarmers. Some of those fellas make less than I do (OK, but I don't get 6 months off a year), and the bench heaters were said to be broken.

Now...Sint Maarten/Saint-Martin.

Not a particularly large island, but big enough to explore. It's half Dutch, where they speak English and spend US dollars, and half French, where they speak French and English and spend euros. Lucky for us, many of the businesses on the French side offered a 1/1 euro to dollar exchange rate.

The Dutch side was being heavily developed. Lots of hotels, condos, and multimillion dollar homes going up. Our hotel, on the Dutch side but just a stone's throw away from the French border, was brand new.

The French side was much more rural. Its towns were more quaint. All the topless sunbathers were on the French side too. We spent an afternoon at Orient Beach, which is what I picture St. Barth's to look like (sorry Chelene, we didn't make it over :( ) with its colorful houses. we got the best service of the trip at one of the restaurants on this side, belying the French waiter stereotype. I think if we go back, we'll stay on the French side. Perhaps here?

Big disappointment? The casinos. We like to play poker, and we couldn't find a decent game. Aruba's casinos were much more fun.

We had great fun driving around the island in our rented beat-up Jeep Wrangler. I'm still fighting with Hertz about paying to replace a bald tire that blew out when we hit a pothole.

While dining one night, we were privvy to some details in a missing persons case. More about that next post.

And finally - scuba. I'm a certified open water diver! It was so much fun. Makes the whole not getting pregnant thing much less of a bummer. We saw eels, octopi, stingrays, and lots of gorgeous fish. The spousal unit is totally hooked - he wants to take classes to become a divemaster. Perhaps he could support us in a move to the islands?

Hiatus

2008-01-07T21:21:00.000-08:00

I'll be back on the 17th. I'm off to St. Maarten.

A train wreck I couldn't avoid

2008-01-07T08:06:00.000-08:00

Saturday while on the way to pick up some Gatorade to keep by the pool during our scuba lessons (These regulators are making me thirsty!), I heard a stupefying report on the radio that said that Britney may be moving to Denver.

First of all, I don't buy it. If she was serious enough to move in with this John Sundahl character we'd have seen a picture of the guy on The Superficial. And you'd also have to believe that the girl wants out of the limelight for awhile. Nuh uh.

But if it were to really transpire, I do have to say I wouldn't mind seeing a bit of that crazy in the flesh. The snooty folks in that neigbhorhood will be seriously pissed to be invaded by paparazzi. And I'd pay money to watch the girl try to drive, hold the baby, and text in one of our snowstorms.

UPDATE: I Googled this guy, and I have seen a pic of him on The Superfish. But I still don't buy it.

Fun for some

2008-01-03T12:06:00.000-08:00

Obedience training taught us to flip Sasha over on her back when she starts getting uppity as a dominance exercise. As you can see, Ripley and Roscoe find the concept pretty entertaining.

Sasha is not quite so amenable.

On the upside

2007-12-27T13:40:00.000-08:00

Not being pregnant yet means the following:

The spousal unit and I can squeeze in a SCUBA certification class and do our open water cert dive when we are in St. Maarten in less than 2 weeks.

I don't have to drink virgin umbrella drinks while we're there.

I won't be in the last stage of my pregnancy during the dog days of summer.

We can now definitely make a trip to Orlando with the niece and nephew in July.

Delaying morning sickness - yipee!

We spoke to the doctor yesterday and are planning to start another IVF cycle right away. There are plans in place to change the protocol in order to increase our chances.

Apparently even though Fergus and Fergalina looked all nice and symmetrical, they really didn't stand much of a chance. At their stage of development they should have been 8-10 cells instead of 6. So those two just weren't meant to be babies.

Update

2007-12-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

Didn't work. Got the call this morning. I'm not pregnant.

So it looks like the fertility posts continue.

Merry Christmas everyone! I probaby won't be back until Thursday.

A first peek

2007-12-17T13:32:00.001-08:00

Here you go. The spousal unit has dubbed them Fergus and Fergalina. I'm letting him have his fun for now.

This is what they looked like shortly before being transferred back into me first thing on Thursday morning. 6 cells each, nice size and form. That procedure was a breeze, except....

I had to drink 32 ounces of water 1 1/2 hours before the procedure. Had to hold onto it until they were done. You should have seen me fly off the table into the bathroom when the timer went off. I looked like a star sprinter.

And a parting gift...the little fellas in their new home. I've circled where they were the doc said they were, in between 2 white air bubbles.

Easter in December

2007-12-12T09:14:00.000-08:00

I apologize for not inviting you to the egg hunt. It happened inside my ovaries on Monday at my doctor's office. Lucky doc found 20 eggs!

So of those 20:

8 = immature
5 = duds (sperm injected but did nothing)
1 = freak of nature (fertilized, started growing irregularly)
2 = slowpokes (fertilized, not dividing yet)
4 = frontrunners (fertilized, 2 cells as of midnight)

I get to see video of the frontrunners tomorrow right before they shove 2 of them back in. The other 2, if they are still good, get to take a little nap in the freezer.

Come visit on Christmas Eve. That's when I find out if things took.

Play Along - Drink Most Foul

2007-12-06T20:19:00.001-08:00

I've come up with a game. Please play with me.

The game is to invent a disgusting drink (alcoholic preferred but non will do) and come up with a name for it. This should provide loads of easy entertainment for simple-minded people like me.

I'll start.

Double Fountain - prune juice & tequila

UPDATES:
Swamp Water - wheatgrass and tequila, by Cat
Teeter Totter - Red Bull and Nyquil by Mur
Bubble Vision - Dish detergent and absinthe by Metro
Licorice Margarrhea - tequila, sambuca and Pepto Bismol by Beckeye

Keep 'em coming kids. Good stuff! Perhaps we'll put these on the menu when the spousal unit opens his bar.

Thank God for dead racoons

2007-12-05T15:26:00.000-08:00

Headed out for the daily mail retrieval, kerpupples in tow. I haven't mentioned it yet, but the latest round of injections have me feeling like pure, unadulterated crap. And I'm getting a cold too. So I wasn't entirely with it when we ventured out.

Sasha spent yesterday sleeping and lounging, recovering from several days at the kennel. Today she's gotten her spirit back. All it took was a tired Slave to flub the leash when trying to switch it between hands, and she was off like the hellion she usually is.

I called her sweetly to no avail, and ended up chasing her all around the lake. The other 2 dogs joined me in pursuit.

Ripley managed to catch up with Sasha, and they had a fine time chasing the geese into the middle of the lake. But they made it back to shore and Sasha sashayed off before I could catch up.

My saving grace? They encountered the carcass of a racoon on the path. It's head was creepily, perfectly preserved. Sasha tried to grab it and run off with it but it proved too awkward. I waited near the treasure, and sure enough, she couldn't stay away. I snatched up her leash when she returned and started towards home, cursing and scolding her profusely.

She managed to snatch up what looked like a femur or a lesser leg bone as we left. I had to pry it out of her mouth before she could start crunching on it.

Most excellent timing

2007-11-28T15:39:00.000-08:00

Last night I headed to the mall with a list of items to pick up in hand. One such item, a bra of a particular brand, could only be found at Nordstrom.

I parked outside Nordstrom and attempted to enter to find the doors locked. How odd! Another patron who walked by informed me that they were having "a special event" but it didn't start until 7.

So I went in another entrance and decided to acquire the rest of the things I needed first. I accomplished this task in nearly record time. I headed back to Nordstrom's mall entrance only to find it locked up. Huh?

I left through another store and noticed a sign outside Nordstrom's door. It said to please use the north entrance. Intrigued, I headed north.

Outside the north entrance sat a woman at a table with a list. It felt like trying to get into an exclusive club. The woman informed me that they were holding a "special event" (so much vaguery - I half wondered if there was to be an execution inside). When I asked if I could enter to purchase something, I was added to the list as a write-in and shown through the door.

Behold! Hors d'ouvres! Wine! Beer! Martinis! And I hadn't eaten dinner yet. What luck!

I bumped into an old friend inside who'd actually been invited to the shindig, apparently held for Nordstrom's big spenders. Funny story - my friend needed a fair amount of frequent flyer miles to book a trip to South America. So she buys a $10,000 pair of earrings, books the trip with the miles, and then returns the earrings. Quite ingenious.

Today I realized how fortuitous my timing actually was. My "egg retrieval" cycle starts today. That means no booze for the next month, or more like the next year if things go as hoped.

All hail Nordstrom.

Nobody's a-readin' the blaaaaaaaaaah-g

2007-11-26T15:57:00.000-08:00

And why would they be? I'd need to squeeze some time outta nowhere in order to create some interesting posts. So here's some nutshells:

Injections: not-so-bad - YET

Thanksgiving: California, ham (I know, a travesty!), bacar, walking along Lake Chabot

Work: grrrrrrrrr

Kerpupples: missed-em-oh-so-much

New blogsession: The Daily Coyote

And a shout out to metro and cat (I love your blog name) for stopping by recently. Always happy to see a new friendly face.

And so it begins...

2007-11-20T12:47:00.000-08:00

Today I start the official treatment for my IVF cycle.

I guess I've technically already started. I've been on the pill for about a month to "quiet my reproductive system". Today the magic ultrasound probe confirmed - I have calm ovaries.

So now I get to start the daily injections.

You should see the box of drugs that showed up at my house. I feel like I could open my own pharmacy. Pills and vials and creams, oh my! Some even need stored in the refrigerator. And if I happen to lose my job, I could make some green by keeping junkies in needles for a comfy amount of time.

I also have to take a low-dose aspirin daily. Of course I got the baby-aspirin branded version, cherry flavor to be precise. You have to take those throwbacks to childhood where you can get them.

A friend suggested I get weekly massages to help make the process easier. I think that's a damn grand idea.

Odds and ends

2007-11-17T14:43:00.000-08:00

Strange sighting the other day. A teenage boy, dressed like a trenchcoat mafia member, riding a Segway on the sidewalk along a busy suburban road. Do you think it was his grandmother's?

Don't ever wake a dog up in the middle of a vigorous dream! I made the mistake of doing so to Sasha the other day and she tried to bite me. She just sat there looking befuddled for another hour or so after that. I'd wondered a few weeks ago whether dogs understand the concept of dreams. I'd now guess they don't.

Another fun show I'll have to miss

2007-11-14T08:12:00.000-08:00

Next week on the day we fly to California for Turkey day, Juliette and the Licks are playing a show at a small venue here.

Tickets are only $15. That's well worth seeing the freakshow of a performance the ex-almost-Mrs.-Pitt will put on. Have you seen her costumes? Girlfriend goes on stage wearing an indian chief headdress.

Of course, folks like justacoolcat may be at risk of getting a stiffy.

Consistency, please?

2007-11-13T15:15:00.000-08:00

Is that too much to ask?

Freakin' garbage collectors.

One week they come at 7:15 AM, the next they come at 11 AM.

Oh, and if you try to run after them to get them to come back? You KNOW they see you. But they always keep going.

Jerks.

I guess if I had to do that for a living I'd be a dickhead too.

Decaffing

2007-11-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

So in honor of the upcoming fertility procedures and the anticipated pregnancy, I'm cranking down the caffeine. I usually have 2 cups of coffee in the morning and an iced tea or a soda during the day. I've changed the coffee routine. I'll still have 2 cups, but I'm brewing a mixture of half regular, half decaf. I'll be buying decaf soda.

It's funny - I don't have any other addictions. But I'm not looking forward to this.

Be forewarned - any crankity posts are likely being generated primarily by caffeine deprivation.

I could also have a tendency to dozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ergh, see, it's happening already!!!

If I could bottle this and sell it....

2007-11-07T07:29:00.000-08:00

I'd never have to work again.

I suspsect many a meth lab operator has had similar designs.

That rug downstairs never manages to stay straight with this bunch in the house.

Dogdial

2007-11-05T13:02:00.000-08:00

I could set my watch by Ripley.

I started a ritual some months back of taking the dogs to go get the mail (our mailbox is down the street) every afternoon at 3 PM. This was a good point to break up the afternoon of ~~drudgery~~ work and late enough to ensure our mail carrier has been here.

So at some point I stopped having to call the dogs for our daily diversion. Ripley would show up next to my desk very near 3 o'clock, ears perked staring up at me expectantly.

So today at 5 til 2, she does the same thing. I chide her for being early, and then I realize that my dog's body clock does not observe the switch from Daylight Savings to Standard time.

The whole routine is repeated at 6 PM for doggy chow.

LOLDogs

2007-11-04T08:41:00.000-08:00

Watch out, Paris and Lindsay!

2007-11-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

Check out this little hottie.

It's my niece. She's 4.

Looks older though, doesn't she? She's got the hip jut and the half-smile mastered already. I don't envy being her parents when she gets into her teens.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T17:05:00.001-07:00

From the spidery witch

and the devil dog

Taking prophylactics (sorta) seriously....

2007-10-30T14:18:00.000-07:00

Tee hee...

She's Alive!

2007-10-29T15:57:00.000-07:00

Wish we could say the same for the Rockies. Touché, Red Sox, you are truly the better team.

I'm making my way down recovery road. Doc found a bunch of polyps in addition to my adhesions so a complete D&C was performed to get everything the heck outta Dodge. Pain hasn't been too terrible - no Vicodin at all today.

Halloween costume turned out well. I was happy with the dress, though not with the size of its wearer. Pictures to follow.

The south of the Slave

2007-10-25T15:50:00.000-07:00

And not the slaves of the south. Check out the pictures on my Jefferson Davis link on the previous post. How many black folks do you think Confederate Memorial Day draws?

But I digress.

We're talking about my south end.

Tomorrow I go in for outpatient surgery. In the screening process for IVF the doctor found a uterine adhesion - a small piece of scar tissue connecting my uterine walls. They need to remove it before we can go forward with IVF.

I'm told it's an easy procedure, and that I'll be pain-free by Saturday. I sure hope so, because we have Halloween plans. I sewed myself a costume, and it turned out much better than those horrible pants. Pictures are forthcoming.

But if I'm not pain-free, I'm armed with Vicodin.

The south of the nation

2007-10-25T11:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sorely overdue in posting about my trip to Miss Sippy last week.

First, Biloxi. Had dinner one evening at the Beau Rivage. World class casino. If you find yourself in the south and itching for a taste of Vegas, I suggest you stay here. The restaurant prices were also Vegas' equal. Yowza.

Next, Katrina. Her impact was still painfully obvious. Along the stretch of highway between Gulfport and Biloxi (the road where my celeb doppelganger Jayne Mansfield met her untimely death) where historic mansions used to sit across from the ocean, there's now...nothing. The debris has been cleaned up, so it just looks deserted. There was a motel which had been wiped out whose sign was still intact. Eerie. Jefferson Davis' summer home was completely demolished. Never fear though, my dear Confederates, for there's a society rebuilding it.

My colleagues told stories of the basement where we held our meetings. How it had been a biohazard and cleaned out by guys in hazmat suits because it was full of ribeyes, dog food, and chicken parts. Yum!

And now that your appetite is whetted, let's talk about the food. My research proved that the seafood was fine, so I indulged. It was delicious. Shrimp, snapper, lump crabmeat - all very fresh and very tasty.

The lunches during the meetings, however, were another matter. Whoever the caterer was had a formula. That formula was:

Meal = (Meat + MashedPotatoes)*BrownGravy + Vegetable + Roll.

Day 1: Chicken breast & mashed potatoes with brown gravy, green beans, roll
Day 2: Salisbury steak & mashed potatoes with brown gravy, butter beans, roll
Day 3: Shredded beef & mashed potatoes with brown gravy, corn, roll

I'm a fan of comfort food in moderation, and I even like butter beans. But I was dying for a salad when I got home.

My celeb doppelgangers

2007-10-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

Check this out. I did it a few years ago with several different pictures and consistently got Scarlett Johanssen back as my best match. I guess the extra years and pounds killed the resemblance. Dammit!

Watch out Tom Cruise - I just may be able to pose as your wife (though why I'd subject myself to that I can't imagine).

UPDATE: Stupid template cuts off the pic of Jayne Mansfield on the right.

You want to put what where?

2007-10-16T18:17:00.000-07:00

I think I've mentioned this before, and I know some of you have blogged posts to support my theory.

I think that travelling brings out the rude in people.

Here's the latest installment.

Yesterday, lunchtime, Memphis airport. I took advantage of the time and place to grab a little Memphis-style BBQ for lunch during my layover. Many other travellers had the same idea, so the Blue Note Cafe was hoppin'.

Smoking or non, queried the hostess. I replied with my stock "first available," and was escorted into the bar. I ordered and dove happily into The Other Boleyn Girl (Scarlett Johanssen, Natalie Portman, and Eric Bana to star in the screen adaptation? Can't fucking wait) while I waited for my turkey-smothered-in-heaven sandwich to arrive.

That's the odd thing about smoking bars in airport. They attract smokers. In droves.

I peer around me as I dig into my sandwich. A suprising number of people in the bar are like me, eating but not pursuing lung cancer. The ones who are puffing away seem to be pretty mellow about it.

And then the psycho smoker strikes.

I pick up my sandwich for another mouth-watering bite. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a man heading intently for my table. Is he going to refill my soft drink? But no, as he closes in he thrusts his weapon past the glass. What was the weapon, you may ask? His ash-dangling cigarette. He deposits said ash into the sparkling clean ashtray on my table. As I was taking a bite of my food.

Now, the spousal unit sucks on the despised cancer sticks. I am never idle in chastizing him for tossing butts carelessly about. But even he knows that this is just not done.

A few minutes later, the guy makes another lap. Apparently he hasn't ordered anything - he's just found a place to wander around while catching a drag. As he passes my table, the guy at the table behind me notices me watching Ashomatic and asks me, "Did he do it again?" Aha! So I'm not being unnecessarily indignant!

I'm so thankful I never picked up that habit. Look what it can make you do!

Pants post

2007-10-12T07:34:00.000-07:00

So as my city gets caught up in baseball postseason fever, I've only just noticed that most of the players are now wearing long pants. What gives? I feel like Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own - "There's no long pants in baseball!"

Seriously though, baseball is all about showing your socks. There's a reason there's no Boston Red Trousers or Chicago White Shirts. I'm ok with keeping the short pants and losing the stirrups - I wore those stirrups as a kid and they're not the most comfortable things. but it's a cardinal sin that so many players are now hiding their socks.

And deviating from pants a bit, I also must say that the Rockies' sleeveless jerseys with T-Shirts underneath look pretty ghetto. What's next, wifebeaters?

On to more pants. Yoga pants.

I recently purchased a few new pairs and wore one for the first time on Wednesday. Super comfy, great material, wonderful coral color. The problem? They show sweat worse than anything. I'm going to a new class in a heeated (not Bikram-hot) room, and by the end of class I looked like I pissed myself.

Southbound

2007-10-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

News flash:

Next week I'm headed to Gulfport, MS for work. I'm tickled that I'll be staying at a hotel/casino while I'm there. Nothing like a game of poker to take the edge off an endless day of requirements gathering!

I'm looking forward to checking out this area of the country. I wonder how visible the impact of Katrina will still be. I do know that some of the users for the software system we'll be developing are housed in the company's "Katrina Village". That doesn't sound particularly pleasant.

Another concern is the seafood. I've heard horror stories of how Katrina polluted the Gulf's catch. I'll have to do some research, but I may be limiting myself to land creatures while I'm there.

Hopefully, some interesting pictures will be taken for blog fodder.

Also going to have to remember to use the local pronunciation - Miss Sippy.

Cat, you should giggle at this. I told my hairdresser I was going to Mississippi and she asked if I'd get a glimpse of the collapsed bridge. Snort. I guess geography requirements are minimal at beauty school. Really - is there any state-monikered river that stays within the confines of its namesake? I don't know of any.

Random 10 Cop Out

2007-10-05T16:05:00.001-07:00

OK, I really really really want to be creative. But I've been bleedin' busy. So I'm bowing to the cat and posting 10 from the workday's iTunes party shuffle. Here ya go:

1. Soundtrack To Mary - Soul Coughing
2. Acrobat - U2
3. Sex-O-Matic Venus Freak - Macy Gray
4. Love Me Do - The Beatles
5. Smile - Lily Allen
6. Tchaikovsky: Serenade For Strings In C, Op. 48 - Waltz - Peter Wohlert; Berlin Chamber Orchestra
7. Runaway - Del Shannon
8. Country Death Song - Violent Femmes
9. Hands Up - Black Eyed Peas
10. Blue Savannah - Erasure

Nice to see some different faces pop up among the usual suspects.

Doggie U

2007-10-02T09:41:00.000-07:00

Last night, after 4 long months of group obedience classes, Sasha finally got her off-leash obedience diploma. I was such a proud doggie mom!

There is, of course, a caveat. Classes were starting to get really large. We got unlimited classes as part of our board-and-train deal, but I know not all who attended group classes had the same arrangement. I have a sneaking suspicion they wanted to graduate her to make room for more "paying" customers.

That being said, she did really well. It was only the fourth time we'd tested her off-leash, and the first two times she ran like a banshee partway through. This time I stood yards away from her while she lied down and stayed. Other dogs caused chaos. Horses penned nearby piqued her interest. And still she stayed.

Wish we'd done the same with the other dogs. I think Roscoe would have graduated very quickly.

Caribbound

2007-09-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

We'd been thinking of booking a trip to Europe for our next vacation, hopefully to be taken right around now. Now it looks like the soonest we'll be able to escape is January.

So Ms. Bargain Hunter Slave started poking into destinations where the climate in January is more pleasant than it is at home. Places like Kauai, Phuket, Rio, and Paradise Island came to mind.

The spousal unit wasn't wowed by Hawaii on our honeymoon, so that was the first to go. Asia and South America were next based on flight times and ticket prices. This meant that, for the second year in a row, we'd be headed to the Caribbean.

I started looking in the Bahamas since it's a relatively short flight and we've heard good things. Was all set to have us on a vacay on Cable Beach. But the spousal unit balked, fearing the weather would not be quite warm enough in January.

Next I eyed the Cayman Islands. Alas, flights within out frequent flyer/voucher system were not to be had.

Finally, my eye was caught by St. Maarten. We enjoyed the Dutch hospitality shown last year in Aruba. And an added bonus is that it shares an island with the French territory St. Martin. The average temperature was to the spousal unit's liking, and airline tickets were in reach. So we'll be there for a week in January.

As I poked through travel guides, I realized how close the celeb getaway of St. Barts is to St. Maarten. Perhaps we'd do a side trip for a couple days and rub elbows with George, Brad, or Matt! Then I started looking at hotels in St. Bart. Suffice to say, our visit to that island will be confined to a day trip by ferry.

Anguilla is another option for a day trip, but St. Barts looks prettier.

St. Maarten/Martin apparently has the best food in the Caribbean. This is a real draw for me, since I'll hopefully be pregnant and unable to imbibe spirits.

Any tales or anecdotes from these islands to share? Let's hear it!

Snort THIS

2007-09-26T08:22:00.001-07:00

This morning I was eating breakfast and allowing Today to numb my brain while my morning coffee attempted to awaken it. I'm sure the two cancel each other out.

Off topic, but how sad is it that I notice that a Royal Caribbean cruise commercial plays on this show every morning at the same exact time? I first noticed this nearly 2 years ago, and it's still going.

Anyway, a commercial for a nasal allergy spray called Veramyst comes on. I happen to notice a caption that flashes briefly on the bottom of the screen. It says (I'm paraphrasing):

"It is not known exactly how this medication works."

Please tell me why somebody would see this caviat and still spray this crap up their nose. It's OK for me to not know how it works. But shouldn't the pharmaceutical have figured it out before the FDA approved it to be sold?

And what, did they stumble onto this by accident? Oh hey look, I accidentally snorted a bit of this HIV counteraction serum, and look, my nose isn't running any more! Yeah, I'm running out to buy some of that right now.

I'm So White

2007-09-21T16:51:00.000-07:00

Here's a quickie I can share with you that should make you chuckle.

I've had the Timbaland song Just The Way I Are playing in my head nonstop. Despite my dismay at the grammatical incoherence of the title, the words are catchy and the beat is reminiscent of his work with my shameless crush JT.

So I've had these words running through my head:

I don't need the cheese on my crackers
Boy I like you just the way you are

Well, the real line is:

I don't need the G's or the car keys

Hmmm. Would you have guessed that I grew up in a small town where the black population was possibly only 2 digits long? Or that I live in a pretty damn caucasian state now? I think you would.

But...

That doesn't stop me from thinking that the Jena 6 were/are being extremely unfairly punished. The white adults in Jena that allowed this situation to escalate and explode with these ridiculous charges, and most especially DA Reed Walters, have a special hot seat in Hell waiting for them.

Blah-g

2007-09-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

Where is my motivation? I have some funny doggy pictures I want to post, but I'm too lazy to add captions to them.

I have more entertaining travel anecdotes swirling around in my head, but can't manage to materialize them to keyboard.

Right now the most mesmerizing thing I have to say is that I just enjoyed a divine frozen custard swirled with peanut butter. How's that for a literary device, huh?

I can't even summon the minimal amount of wit required to mock Britney Spears.

Oh, you freaky readers

2007-09-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

I've had a rash of folks hit my blog lately from Google searches. As usual, I have to shake my head when I see what people out there are looking for.

First, we have the fertile-ly challenged, like myself, who are looking to go straight to ivf. But humans aren't the only species that have difficulty reproducing. Luckily, there are fellow doggy lovers out there who are interested in using clomiphene citrate with dogs.

We also have some kinkier canine coddlers, who are just searching for a wife slave with dog. As the spousal unit pointed out, you never know what to expect from the French.

And let's not forget the junkies. Enterprising addicts utilize tools on the Internet to get their meth hints.

Let's hope he left the private jet at home

2007-09-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

Look guys...Ali Larter from Heroes looks stunning in this red dress.

But would somebody please tell me what the hell Al Gore is doing at the Emmy awards ceremony? Making sure it's green, no doubt.

No bebe

2007-09-17T07:20:00.000-07:00

Turns out it was just Aunt Flo, taunting me. We've got a consult with Dr. Makeababy today to figure out the next steps.

Quickening?

2007-09-14T13:13:00.001-07:00

Could it be, folks? I'm not due to find out for sure until next week, but there have been some possible signs.

The twins are sore. Now, this is a normal PMS symptom for me, but it seems a little different this time. Extremely sensitive headlights. Could be entirely psychosomatic, and not enough of a sign on its own.

Today I did a regular yoga class for the first time in awhile. I'm forgoing the Bikram until post-delivery - it's too risky for my taste. While in cobra pose, I began to feel a vein pulsing internally. This vein was in the uteral vicinity. This has never happened to me before. Is there a reason my blood seemed a bit more anxious than normal to flow to that particular region?

Stay tuned!